Military worker calls out her same rank 30-year-old male colleague for not doing his work, he responds with an anger tantrum: ‘He has been in the military twice as long as I have, but we’re all the same rank’

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  • Smiling U.S. Army soldier in camouflage uniform working on a laptop at home, sitting at a dining table in a cozy living space.
  • Coworker caused a scene over me asking him to do his job.

    To start, I work in the military. I am female, currently sharing a workspace with another female coworker who is close in age to me (mid 20s).
  • The male coworker in question is 30 years old. He has been in the military twice as long as I have, but we're all the same rank.
  • He has a habit of walking around, talking, making jokes and doing a mediocre job. That day, our supervisor told us we could go home after we complete our work.
  • We go back to our shared workspace and start working on it, 30M shows up and is just standing around.
  • I say something sarcastic, like "I don't see how you're working on the taskers from over here?" He says "what do you mean?
  • Group of U.S. Army soldiers in camouflage uniforms sitting in discussion during classroom training session, one female service member gesturing while speaking.
  • They're all done." I say "Well that's not true, she's doing one right now" referencing the other female coworker.
  • She agrees. He starts defending himself, and she says "I'm gonna crash out." Obviously an exaggeration, and I even laughed.
  • Bro did not think it was funny. He starts raising his voice. He swears a lot in general, but I realized he was doing it in an angry way, "what the fuck do you mean you're crashing out?
  • Over what? I don't know who the fuck you're talking to-" blah blah blah, fuck this fuck that, you get the idea.
  • I repeatedly ask him to stop raising his voice, and to stop swearing at us. He's ignoring me, talking over me so it's hard for me to even hear myself.
  • The other girl repeatedly asks him to leave, and I start asking him to leave. He refuses, and is still acting crazy.
  • I tell him I'll report it if he continues and he challenges me. It felt like he thought there would be no repercussions.
  • Smiling female soldier in camouflage uniform sitting in classroom setting, listening attentively during military training session with fellow service members in background.
  • I push past him and tell our manager. Our manager agrees to deal with it. We return to our workspace and I'm trying to process it.
  • My heart is racing and I feel so unsettled. My other coworker said she feared he would become physically aggressive and was afraid to leave because he was blocking the door.
  • I'm venting and say "I can't believe this 30 year old man is freaking out over us asking him to do his job?" He hears me say this and flips out again.
  • "YOU NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP-" and he continues to shout insults and aggressive profane comments towards me directly.
  • It was fucked up. I stayed calm, but my other coworker was so disturbed and triggered.
  • She was in total shock. In the military things are handled through specific procedures. In a normal corporate setting this would likely lead to the person getting fired.
  • There will be consequences, but they probably won't happen for a while, and I may not even find out what the consequences are.
  • I'm not entitled to that information. I feel like I've been downplaying the situation ever since and I have to keep reminding myself that it was a big deal and he is deserving of serious consequences.
  • This was the 3rd incident I experienced with this man. He apologized every time, but it keeps happening so I'm done.
  • This was the only time I made an official report, partially because there were so many witnesses to see the severity, but mainly because it was the worst display of the behavior.
  • There are so many more details to this story, but I'm going to leave it at this.
  • lunarartifact Dudes like this only respect documented consequences, not yelling or jokes
  • t-4rdis Original Poster's Reply 100% right. We didn't retaliate with similar behavior to him, just reported it. One of the supervisors was a witness to the last situation and they defended me and mentioned the situation up the chain without me having to ask. It was not a formal complaint though. This time when i submitted the official complaint I referenced the last situation and how it was addressed/ individuals in authority who were aware. This way it was clearly communicated as a repeated eve
  • ApprehensiveCut9809 Sounds like a terminal E4 watching younger soldiers leap frog past him. We called them "Spec 4 (P)" for permanent. These oxygen thieves were often not worth the effort to put them out. We'd just let them QMP (Army speak for guys who don't rank up and are kicked out when they hit the maximum time in grade for their rank). When he gets out, he'll have the attitude that every civilian is beneath him and owes him.
  • t-4rdis Original Poster's Reply Hit the nail on the head. All talk, no action, washed up E4. He was my supervisor for a period of time when I was E3, but he was so impatient when providing training, and he held a lot of double standards when it came to work. After a few months he was completely useless to me as a supervisor. I promoted early so he can't supervise me anymore anyway. He also can't take what he dishes out when it comes to jokes and sarcasm. I am pretty professional, but it's the cu
  • Agrarian-girl I hope this man is not married. God knows what he does in the privacy of his own home.
  • t-4rdis Original Poster's Reply He's not married, thank god. The same thought crossed my mind
  • BaldChihuahua When some apologizes for bad behaviour and then repeats that behaviour the apology is voided. He doesn't mean it. He needs to take accountability. You need to document and report these outbursts.
  • t-4rdis Original Poster's Reply Agreed, it's already been documented and reported!
  • Calgary_Calico Sounds like what my fiance and his ex-military friends would call a shitpump, because that's all he's good for. Talk to your superior about his lack of teamwork and causing a scene over being asked to do what he's paid to do. Or, if whatever military your in is anything like what I've heard about, get your unit together and fuck with him mercilessly until he requests either a transfer or a VR form. Is this thudfuck active duty or reserves? Not doing his job could get people killed
  • t-4rdis Original Poster's Reply I've already talked to my supervisor. I'm not into targeting people myself. It's been routed, and I've made sure to tell everyone that wasn't a witness so that the reputation is there. We're active duty, but our job isn't a danger to anyone
  • idk1234455 He seems too emotional to be working in the military. Crazy he chooses to let that loose when no men are around.
  • t-4rdis Original Poster's Reply Literally. I've heard far too many times women accused of being "too emotional", but men can be so much worse. He needs anger management.
  • wagdog1970 Did you try the old "You are enlisted just like me so you have no authority to give orders?" But you are experiencing what everyone in the military has experienced at one time or another. You can handle it by remaining calm and simply saying, "ok, let's go talk to SGT such and such and see what they think." There are plenty of people who outrank him and you can talk to any one of them. I'm not sure this would warrant an IG complaint. It's pretty vanilla military stuff best handled by
  • t-4rdis Original Poster's Reply We argued for a while, but after repeated requests for him to stop/ leave we reported it to the NCOIC. Honestly, I've read Article 15s at my base for people using profanity to insult. It all just depends. I'm gonna wait and see what the consequences are
  • ApprehensiveCut9809 Well, if you're both E4s, he can supervise you. It would depend on duty position. In a line unit, if a squad or team leader is an E4 and the team has multiple E4s on it, that one is in charge regardless whether that E4 is senior in date of rank. On a tank, the tank commander is usually an E6 and the gunner an E5. But sometimes a high speed E5 is made a TC over fellow E5s. The tank commander is the one in command of the tank, even if the gunner has time in service or time in g
  • t-4rdis Original Poster's Reply I think a supervisor and a team lead are different. He was supervising me briefly after I promoted but they said that was wrong.
  • ApprehensiveCut9809 Maybe, maybe not. An old sergeant major used to say, if three privates are walking to the PX, one of them should be marching the other two. Basically, someone is always in charge.
  • t-4rdis Original Poster's Reply I agree that he can be a team lead, but a supervisor is a different title. I asked in the past and the distinction was made, but maybe it's different based on the branch/country

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